Charlotte's Journey: Post-op Day One

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Post-op Day One

We asked the nurse to call us during the night if she was taken of the vent, and I got a call around 2:30 this morning that she was off the vent!! Praise the Lord! She seems to be doing great and she's even had a wipe down. Seems after being taken of the vent, she threw up all over the place so the nurse didn't have a choice. We made it to the hospital around 8 a.m. and when I walked in she was sleeping like an angel. Brian was able to get Lily inside the unit to blow kisses to Charlotte. Lily has asked so many questions, and it is so hard to make her understand what's going on.

It was so nice to see her beautiful face. I walked up beside the bed and she opens her eyes and I tell her good morning, and she says "good morning mama". It was the sweetest words, her little voice cracked and low. I wanted to pick her up and hug her, but I know that is impossible right now, soon though. I am staying with her as much as I can. Charlotte is still really sleepy and that's good because she needs the rest. We sneak out for lunch while she sleeps and back as soon as we are finished. It seems that when Charlotte sleeps, her oxygen level drops, so the doctor wants her on O2 while she sleeps to help keep it up. While she is awake, it runs 88% and higher. When she sleeps, it runs in the high 70's low 80's. You can tell in the picture that Charlotte isn't to happy with the O2. She gave her nurse a fight when it was time to get the nasal cannula put on. I don't blame her to much, all the tape they use always irritates her skin and she claws at it. I keep telling the nurses to use a different tape, but everything this go round has tore her skin up. I just pray that the Lord helps her though all this and we get out of here in a few days.

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Heart Poem

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."

THE CHOSEN MOTHERS BY ERMA BOMBECK

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothes of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrog, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps- "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally. she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted, She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them. "She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."