Charlotte's Journey: Time flies

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Time flies

Wow, where has this month gone? It doesn't seem like it is September. I close my eyes and see the summer flash before my eyes. August was such a busy month for our family. We have had two weeks of Camp Meeting, 3 birthdays, Pediatrician appointments, Cardiology appointment, Immunizations appointment, dental appointment, and to top it off..........school. At the beginning of summer, I had wondered how I was going to make it at home with the 5 of them. Now that school has started back, I find myself wondering how I make it without having all 5 of them here. I really miss my girls and I know Lily and Charlotte miss them. Every morning Lily comes straight to me asking, "where's Emma, where's Maggie and Anna, I go to school today mama?" I think Charlotte likes them being gone, she has the house and all the toys to herself. Poor Charlotte, when Anna is home, Anna is constantly trying to hold her and carry her around the house. Charlotte has learned the words no-no and shakes her hands like she is shewing her away trying to get the point across that she doesn't want Anna to hold or carry her. Charlotte misses Emma..... Emma is the only one that just plays with her, and not aggravate her and Charlotte misses that. As soon as Emma walks in the house, Charlotte follows Emma around til she sits in the floor and Charlotte hugs on her and pats her back. It is the sweetest to watch. Then there is Maggie.... she tries to play little mama to Charlotte. When Charlotte gets enough of Maggie, Charlotte shews her away and it makes Maggie so mad:) As far as birthdays, Maggie celebrated her 10th on the 7th, Emma celebrated her 5th on the 16th, and Brian celebrated on the 17th.

Cardiology appointment went well, Thank you Lord!!! Dr. Horne said that he could hear the shunt, that it was getting louder due the shunt getting smaller and that we would go for a heat cath sometime in the spring or summer. I was about to scream out loud because I get it in my head before the appointment that we're gonna get bad news. I always get stressed out and worry so much just before the appointment and then we get there and nothing really to talk about because nothing has changed..... Vicious cycle, vicious cycle.

15 month check up and Charlotte is in the 75th percentile of weight and height and 95 percentile for head size. I wasn't to happy about her O2 level,....... 70's. Just last week it was 86 and today it took forever to get it out of the 60's. I think my stomach is still queezie from reading the monitor. I just knew that Dr. Donna would say something, but she didn't. Never really batted an eye, so I think that maybe the monitor just wasn't working well. I tried to get a reading with the machine I have at home, but it never reads what the office gets, so I just left it alone. I can look at Charlotte and tell that she looks good and her color looks good, so I'm gonna try not to worry and just let her be. Maggie and Emma had check ups and got good reports. They both were so worried about getting shots, but VERY happy when they found out no shots til age 11. Then Maggie realized that will be next year for her :(

Camp meeting this year was great..... Anna got saved this year and I am so happy and thankful to the Lord for answering prayers! It is truly amazing to see your child change right in front of your eyes. Anna has always been so sweet and loving, but the night she was saved, she hugged just about every person she new and just cried and smiled and laughed all at the same time. It was truly beautiful, and such a blessing.

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Heart Poem

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."

THE CHOSEN MOTHERS BY ERMA BOMBECK

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothes of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrog, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps- "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally. she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted, She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them. "She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."