Charlotte's Journey: The Waiting Game

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Waiting Game

Well, as you know we have been playing the waiting game, waiting to see if surgery is now or later. I hate the waiting game, it is so hard to just sit and wait for the phone to ring, and when it finally does, I feel sick all over my body.

Dr. Horne called on Thursday, March 22th to inform us that he had gotten an e-mail from Dr. Bradley and they were in discussion about what is best for Charlotte. o we sit and wait while they discuss options. Dr. Horne was leaving for a conference and would only be in touch by e-mail, but promised that as soon as he heard from Dr. Bradley he would call us to let us know the game plan. I had my home phone forwarded to my cell every day to catch a much anticipated call from Dr. Horne and nothing. Like always, we go to my parents house for supper on Thursday's and me thinking it was after 6, I didn't forward the phone. When we came home, a message on the machine from Dr. Horne. I felt a knot in my stomach as I hit the play button, and the voice started, "Mr. & Mrs. Cooper, this is Dr. Horne".................At first, I couldn't hear what Dr. Horne was telling us in the message for kicking myself for not forwarding the phone before we left for my parents. We listened to the message 3 times just to make sure we understood him~ everyone agrees that it is for the best that Charlotte have surgery now instead of waiting. I am expecting daughter # 6 in 10 weeks or less and Charlotte will need my undivided attention for a while, especially after surgery and once home. So, with the birth looming near, the clock is ticking for us to get to Charleston and home before the baby.

Well, it has been the longest two weeks of my life waiting for the call, and FINALLY today we got it. The first call, the lady said she had two dates for us to choose, July and then my mind goes blank. JULY, really, July??? All I can think is, "This isn't BEFORE the baby and I thought that was the plan." So I inform the scheduler what I was told and she said she would call me back. About two hours later the phone rings again, This time Diane is on the line telling me that the Surgery date is May 9th. Honestly, I am so sick right now fighting strep that I haven't had time to think about surgery. Now that I am getting over it, I am scared to death............. because I will have 5 weeks til I am due and that is if I go full term!!! I have joked with Brian that we go to Charleston with Charlotte, and come home with Charlotte and a new baby!!! That would be my luck.

Well, I just have to trust knowing the Lord is in control and that all of this is happening in His time. He has a plan and I just have to follow. I must admit, it isn't as easy as I would like, but I will follow!!

1 comment:

JenniferApril 6, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Praying for you as you follow! I'm so glad to serve a God that CAN BE TRUSTED.
Looking forward to seeing you next Sat at the 5k!

Jennifer Scruggs
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Heart Poem

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."

THE CHOSEN MOTHERS BY ERMA BOMBECK

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothes of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrog, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps- "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally. she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted, She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them. "She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."