Charlotte's Journey: July 2012

Friday, July 13, 2012

8 Wks Post Op

Seems like a long time since I last posted and I am sorry for the delay, but life has been a little busy with little Miss Stellah and Little Miss Charlotte fighting for reign of "Ruler of the House". I get so tickled at Charlotte, she lets me know in a hurry that it's her time for mommy time and I need to give Stellah to whom ever is the closest that will take her. Sunday at church, Charlotte told me, "you hold me, Meme hold Stellah". Charlotte wouldn't have it any other way and was even pulling on Stellah to get her out of my arms. I would have to say for the most part, Charlotte has done very well with having her world turned upside down all in a 2 week span.... open heart surgery and a new sister. She is very loving and caring to Stellah and I am so proud of her for being such a great big sister!!! If you had asked me before Stellah how Charlotte would act, I would have told you she would be jealous and mean. Charlotte has made me out to be wrong, not to mention that she has bounced back from surgery like a champ!!

Today Charlotte had a cardiology appointment with Dr. Horne and she got a great report!!! Her O2 level was 95%, and she weighs 32.6 pds. I knew she had gained weight since surgery, but she has gained 4 pds since our last cardiology visit :) I can't believe how big she is getting. Dr. Horne said her Echo looked great and he couldn't see any sign of a fenestration. Glad to know the fenestration has closed up on it's own, no heart cath to close it :) We don't have to go back for 3 months, so October will be the next visit, YEAH!!!

I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with my girls!! Each and every one of them are a blessing. I couldn't imagine my life without them. I am thankful the Lord saw me fit to be their mother. When I look at this picture, I see love, miracles, bonds that will never be broken. I see my oldest daughter and wonder where the time has gone. I remember when she was the little bundle of love swaddled in my arms. Now I see a beautiful young lady that amazes me every day. I see all of the girls growing and becoming beautiful young ladies, amazing me as life passes by. I look forward to the future, wondering who they each will marry and how many children they each will have. I wonder if they will have little girls running around squealing and laughing and fighting, or maybe the Lord will see fit for me to have a grandson :) Whatever the future holds, I look forward to it!

Heart Poem

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."

THE CHOSEN MOTHERS BY ERMA BOMBECK

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothes of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrog, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps- "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally. she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted, She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them. "She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."