Charlotte's Journey: May 2011

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

One Year Appointments

We have been busy with Dr. appointments this month. Looking at the calendar, we have had at least one appointment a week.. A trip to Charleston for growth and development; Charlotte got a great report! An appointment with the Pediatrician, Charlotte is the 70th percentile for her heighth and weight, and 93rd percentile for her head size. I say she is the most "normal" heart baby I know!!! The only thing we found at this check up is she has a UTI:( after enduring two urine caths, a week of antibiotics, and 2 shots of Rocefin, it's gone. The only thing that lingers is an appointment at Greenville Hospital to test Charlotte for kidney reflux.
We had an appointment with Dr. Horne (Cardiologist), and got a good report!!! I always have a knot in my stomach going to the Cardiologist because you never know for sure what the news is going to be. This appointment seemed crucial to me because it has been a year since surgery and I just figured we would be headed to Charleston. Charlotte's sats were 85% and her blood pressure was 83/54. The Echo showed little regurgitation from the right ventrical to the right atrium, the wall thickening that was present at birth was barely visable, and the 3.5mm shunt seems to still be functioning to some degree. Looks like as long as things go good over the next year, we head to Charleston next summer for a heart cath. The Cath will look closely at the function of Charlotte's heart, temporaraly closing off the shunt and the ASD (atrial septum defect). If Charlotte does well during the cath, then possible no more surgery. If Charlotte tanks during the heart cath, then that means surgery:( All I can do is pray, pray that the Lord is merciful and continues to take care of my sweet daughter.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLOTTE

It amazes me just how fast time flies. I sit here thinking of all that has happened over the last year and WOW! It is amazing that we have made it through this year and I know that it is only by the Grace of God that we have made it. I recall packing and wondering exactly how our lives were going to be with a baby with a heart defect, wondering if my family would survive. When Brian and I had gone to Charleston for Dr. visits and meeting the staff in PCICU, we were told to pack socks and receiving blankets. Those would be things that the staff would use to make her crib more personal. I think that I packed 8 blankets, and maybe 6 pair of socks. Really, just how much is enough when you don't know how long you're going to be at the hospital? Let's just say that after the surgery, Brian and I went out and bought as many blankets that we could find. I still have those blankets, tucked away so if we ever have to go back we can take them with us. The Lord has been good to us, He has passed by our way on more than one occasion, and I am sooo Thankful for His Grace and Mercy.
After Charlotte had her open heart surgery, we were under the impression that we would be back for more open heart surgery some time around 6 months. We had surgery scheduled for January, but when we went to Dr. Horne (Charlotte's Cardiologist) in December, he felt that Charlotte was doing well and that surgery wasn't needed right now. Now you tell me that wasn't an answered prayer!!! I sit and stare at Charlotte, not only admiring how beautiful she is, but realizing what a miracle she is. I pray every night that the Lord continues to bless her, and watch over her.

A year has passed and let me say that things have been nothing like I thought. Charlotte just celebrated her first birthday! We celebrated with family and friends at church with a birthday party and then we as a family celebrated on her offical birthday. I found myself singing Happy Birthday to Charlotte all day. Every time I held her I would sing and we would dance and she would just smile and laugh out loud and squeal. I must say, we had some beautiful moments:)

Heart Poem

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."

THE CHOSEN MOTHERS BY ERMA BOMBECK

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothes of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrog, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps- "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally. she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted, She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them. "She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."